Victoria Jenkins November 20, 2023
Victoria Jenkins 
So your best buddy is going to tie the knot soon and he wants you to be one of his groomsman. You know it's one of the most special and important moments of his life and you absolutely have to be there for him as he goes through all the ups and downs that comes with its preparation and the actual big day. Problem is, you're clueless as hell and you have no idea about this whole groomsman thing (it's not like you've been a part of weddings before). Being a groomsman is definitely no easy task so to help you get started, here are five tips to help you get it right (and nail it!) even if it's just your first time.
Preparations for the big day can easily become overwhelming for your groom and his bride. So offer your help to ease them (and the bridesmaids) of some of the tasks. Don't just say "Call me when you need help", but rather offer a helping hand on specific tasks like sending in the measurements to the tux rental shop, collecting the suits, or picking up family members from the airport. Your groom (and his bride) will surely appreciate your support!
The key is being proactive rather than reactive. Create a shared calendar for wedding tasks so you can see what's coming up and volunteer for specific responsibilities. Consider becoming the point person for coordinating with other groomsmen - this takes a huge load off the groom's plate. If the wedding is at a venue like Venue 1883, offer to handle communication with the venue staff about setup details or logistics.
Timeline for maximum helpfulness: Start offering specific assistance about six months before the wedding with tux shopping, then gradually increase your involvement as the date approaches. The month before the wedding, you should be checking in weekly to see what needs attention.
Scour the internet for the best stag night and bachelor party ideas for your best buddy. After gathering ideas, find that one activity you know is a great match to your buddy's personality and interests. If he's not the pub crawls type of guy, you can plan a rafting weekend or an outdoor trip instead.
To make planning easier:
And remember, this is about the groom’s enjoyment, not your own bucket list. If he’d rather have a low-key BBQ in someone’s backyard than a big night out, embrace it and make it epic in its own way. Assign small tasks to other groomsmen so the workload is shared.
Whether it's the night or morning before the big day, be present to make sure that everything that your groom needs is ready. More importantly, make sure you get him to church well earlier before his bride arrives.
Your presence the morning of the wedding is crucial for keeping everything on track. Arrive at the getting-ready location with your emergency kit and help the groom with final outfit details. This is when nerves typically peak, so your calm, supportive energy makes a real difference.
Plan to arrive at the venue well before guests start arriving. This gives you time to coordinate groomsmen photos, assist with any setup needs, and check in with the wedding coordinator about the timeline. If you're at a historic venue like Venue 1883, take advantage of the beautiful rustic settings for memorable pre-ceremony photos.
During the ceremony itself, know your processional order and any special responsibilities like holding rings. Most importantly, be the steady presence your groom needs - your confident energy will help keep his nerves at bay during this emotional moment.
Out of all your tasks, this probably is the most terrifying (especially if you're not into public speaking). Nonetheless, you should set aside all your fears because your groom is relying on you for this. To give a hilarious, tear-jerking, and simply remarkable groomsman speech, start by preparing it as early as the moment you're asked to give one. Write a draft, rewrite, practice with a friend, then repeat the process until you're pretty confident to say it in front of your groom and the most important people in his life.
What makes a great speech versus a cringe-worthy one? Include heartfelt stories everyone can relate to, genuine compliments about both the bride and groom, and sincere wishes for their future. Avoid inside jokes that exclude the audience, embarrassing stories that might upset family members, and any mention of past relationships. Remember, this speech will be remembered by everyone present and possibly recorded forever.
Help your groom keep his nerve at bay during the big day. Have a kit where all of his needs are present including a copy of his speech and some pain killers). Ask him (and his bride) from time to time to see if they need you to do anything. Team up with other groomsmen and bridesmaids to make sure everything goes smoothly as planned.
Your emergency kit should be comprehensive but not overwhelming. Include practical items like stain remover pen, lint roller, extra boutonniere, backup tie, pain relievers, antacids, breath mints, tissues, safety pins, phone chargers, and cash for unexpected expenses. Keep this kit with you throughout the entire day.
The art of calming a nervous groom involves more than just having supplies ready. Remind him to eat breakfast and stay hydrated - hungry, dehydrated grooms are prone to fainting during ceremonies. Encourage deep breathing exercises during stressful moments, and distract him with light conversation or his favorite music while getting ready.
Communication is key to a smooth wedding day. Check in regularly with the bride's maid of honor to coordinate timing and any changes. Keep parents and family members updated on timeline shifts, and serve as the liaison with venue staff and vendors when needed. At venues like Venue 1883, the experienced staff can help coordinate these details, but having a designated groomsman as the point of contact keeps things organized.
Remember that your role extends beyond the ceremony itself. Be prepared to handle vendor payments or tip distribution, help coordinate the receiving line, and ensure the groom has moments to eat and drink during the reception. Your attention to these details allows the couple to focus on celebrating with their guests.
